huh long time everybody !
I'm so sorry. So many things happened. In my mind. Those days. Those last weeks.
Recently i decided to watch a new TV serie, thanks to someone. Vampire Diaries. Yes it's still a bit cliché with vampires stuffs, like family dilemma, an impossible love, werewolves, etc... But it's engrossing. And guess what i decided to write my own diaries. Not like teenage one or the same than when i was 10, but something deeper. With thoughts about life and everything which i can't understand in this world. Anyway, like this blog but more personal. It's cathartic. That's the point.
I finally decided to give up with all my ex-gf issues. I don't talk to her anymore. I ignore her.
But the more the time passes, the more about one girl I'm obsessed. Since so long time in fact. Remember, this girl whom was taken... And she still is. It's weird, I'm almost sure that a day she'll belong to me, idk why, maybe that's crazy but somewhere i hope that. I need to believe that. The reason is simple. She represents all about what i believe. The true love. And i dont know what to do but waiting she's lonely. I often thought what would i do if she wasn't with this guy anymore. Of course I tell her all i feel, but on the one hand i realy want that she knows what i feel, but on the other hand i don't want to screw everything up. I don't want to realized that she maybe absolutely dont care about me. I'm afraid about this possible reality. i cant help thinking about that.
Yeah I succeeded my first semester. I'm proud of myself lol. French literature ftw!
However, the other students piss me off. they are boring, immature,... anyway.
Aww and if one my friend read that, maybe he will recognize himself:
Don't leave us, the life won't be the same without ya !
And as far as my vlogging is concerned, i'll check that when my camera will be repared, here an horrible pic to apologize aha ^^.
That's all folks! Love.
Sorry for you but I’m going to talk a bit about myself. I’m feeling really weird at the moment. I wonder if I’m the only guy who ever had this odd feelings you know. I really feel alone. I’m almost sure nobody can understand me; no human beings can put themselves in my position. And above all no girls can decipher me. It’s like if I use to mess everything up. I guess the reason is that I don’t know myself enough. Of course there are friends. But they aren’t every time there. Moreover sometimes I feel like they have changed. Something in their behavior has changed. They are not funny anymore. They are strangers. And I am afraid it won’t stop. i make some signs in order to make myself understood, because words will be too painful, too violent, to strange when they will be told. I’ll be taken for a foreigner, a disturbed guy, a killjoy. They will glare at me because I won’t be a part of the “gang” anymore. So I don’t tell anything, I am just like an observer. I internalize all of my despicable thoughts, everything that are close to my heart. Even if it consuming me. After all, I am the problem. That’s my fault if yesterday they were cool and not today. Everything is in my mind. I don’t know what I really want, what I really am. Accordingly I don’t know what is good for me and what good friends mean. I am a poor lonesome stupid boy, I know. I’m irrational. I know, my circle of friends tells to me that I wonder too much questions, I’m a fucking too thoughtful person. I couldn’t care less! I mean do their gibes are supposed to help me? I don’t think so. Well I stop to complain myself there.
I’m sure you just barely understand me, but I just needed to tell it. And I thank you if you succeeded to read everything.
Love you all. :)
>>>>>FS
I’m sure you just barely understand me, but I just needed to tell it. And I thank you if you succeeded to read everything.
Love you all. :)
>>>>>FS
Our eyes are the mirror of our soul.
That’s true.
Take time. Stop everything.
And look just a moment at your face on a mirror.
Then you will see weird colored things on your face. And the time will stop. Look at them more attentively. You will lead away through an iridescent world. You will lead away through yourself. As far as I’m concerned, I already discovered my world, my soul, myself. Like my eyes, nature is green and sometimes decorated with golden arabesques. There is a crystal-clear sky where clouds are silvery. I go for a walk on scented and shiny paths. My eyes attracted me in this world. And this world reflected my soul. Indeed. This place is as pure as I aspire to be. A kingdom of kindness, patience and tenderness. This place is as colored as my conception of the life. The green for the hope, the golden for the beauty and the precious side of the existence. The transparency for the honesty and simplicity.
I could describe it during long time. But that is not the point.
The main thing is your own experience. You have to do it for yourself. In order to teach yourself, to discover your soul. The more the mirror of your soul you contemplate the more you discover yourself. After that you will know how great you are, and you will uncover all the treasures you hide. You will understand how the humanity is beautiful and all the qualities and talents you possess...
>Formspring
I <3 you.
That’s true.
Take time. Stop everything.
And look just a moment at your face on a mirror.
Then you will see weird colored things on your face. And the time will stop. Look at them more attentively. You will lead away through an iridescent world. You will lead away through yourself. As far as I’m concerned, I already discovered my world, my soul, myself. Like my eyes, nature is green and sometimes decorated with golden arabesques. There is a crystal-clear sky where clouds are silvery. I go for a walk on scented and shiny paths. My eyes attracted me in this world. And this world reflected my soul. Indeed. This place is as pure as I aspire to be. A kingdom of kindness, patience and tenderness. This place is as colored as my conception of the life. The green for the hope, the golden for the beauty and the precious side of the existence. The transparency for the honesty and simplicity.
I could describe it during long time. But that is not the point.
The main thing is your own experience. You have to do it for yourself. In order to teach yourself, to discover your soul. The more the mirror of your soul you contemplate the more you discover yourself. After that you will know how great you are, and you will uncover all the treasures you hide. You will understand how the humanity is beautiful and all the qualities and talents you possess...
>Formspring
I <3 you.
Just a BEAUTIFUL song which I have in my head :
IZ - Somewhere over the rainbow
IZ - Somewhere over the rainbow
Sorry everyone. Long time. That was exams time. But now it’s over. One week of holidays.
I don’t know what to talk about, tbh. Lol.
Aw yeah, in formspring, I remember some people said to me why I like Chris drew. Well we all have models. Archetype of beauty, talent, sensibility or genius. Something or someone which or whom inspires you and uplift your mind. Personally I have plethora of paragons. Do you have ones ? For every moments, every feelings, or every moods I have one. When I feel sad, I listen to NSN in my bed. When I feel inspired, I listen to Beethoven, with a cup of Chinese tea. When I want to think, I look at the only posters I have. Then the face of Einstein look at me sometimes sticking his tongue out, sometimes looking at me with seriousness. His look is so meaningful! When I play guitar I remember the greatest. Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy page and Chuck Berry. So talented! When I want to write poetry, the memory of Whitman’s spirit, the Thoreau’s guts, the Herrick’s epicurism, the Tennyson’s willpower, and the Rimbaud’s impetuosity feed the stream of my ideas. Well anyway I think everybody get it. Lol.
Love you all. Ttfn.
I don’t know what to talk about, tbh. Lol.
Aw yeah, in formspring, I remember some people said to me why I like Chris drew. Well we all have models. Archetype of beauty, talent, sensibility or genius. Something or someone which or whom inspires you and uplift your mind. Personally I have plethora of paragons. Do you have ones ? For every moments, every feelings, or every moods I have one. When I feel sad, I listen to NSN in my bed. When I feel inspired, I listen to Beethoven, with a cup of Chinese tea. When I want to think, I look at the only posters I have. Then the face of Einstein look at me sometimes sticking his tongue out, sometimes looking at me with seriousness. His look is so meaningful! When I play guitar I remember the greatest. Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy page and Chuck Berry. So talented! When I want to write poetry, the memory of Whitman’s spirit, the Thoreau’s guts, the Herrick’s epicurism, the Tennyson’s willpower, and the Rimbaud’s impetuosity feed the stream of my ideas. Well anyway I think everybody get it. Lol.
Love you all. Ttfn.
On croit souvent qu'il suffit de hair et de rejeter certaines personnes qui ont constituées notre passé pour les oublier. On pense sur le coup que pour aller de l'avant nous devons tirer un trait sur elles, car elles nous étouffent, nous empêche d'avancer. Mais plus tard on s'aperçoit, que leur souvenir est indélébile, et que leur image dans notre esprit nous ramène aux moments heureux. Alors on se rend compte que pour continuer à vivre, nous ne devons pas les exclure mais nous réconcilier avec...
I tried to translate it :) :
(soz for the approximate translation)
we often believe that's enough to hate & reject some people who made your past up in order to forget them.
We think at the time we have to get over with them to go ahead. Because they stiffle us, they stop us from
moving forward. But later we realize that memories are indelible, & pictures in our minds remember you
the happy moments. So we face facts, to continue to live, we don't have to exclude them but
make it up with them...
I tried to translate it :) :
(soz for the approximate translation)
we often believe that's enough to hate & reject some people who made your past up in order to forget them.
We think at the time we have to get over with them to go ahead. Because they stiffle us, they stop us from
moving forward. But later we realize that memories are indelible, & pictures in our minds remember you
the happy moments. So we face facts, to continue to live, we don't have to exclude them but
make it up with them...
Aww yeah i found this : it made my day (:
